Unexpected Genius of the Week, Part II

Let's get right to it... I am going to talk about Maggie Sajak, the 28-year-old daughter of long-time Wheel of Fortune host, Pat Sajak.

That's Pat on the left.

If Mr. Sajak is reading this right now, he has no reason to fear or be protective of his progeny.  I have a daughter myself, so I try not to make it a habit of insulting someone else's little girl… Unless, of course, they deserve it like Danica Patrick or Jada Pinkett Smith.

Bald cunt.

Unlike the unexpected genius I wrote about a couple of days ago, Maggie was pretty close to genius level long before I caught wind of her… She's a Princeton grad, finished a postgraduate program at Columbia University, and is currently completing her final year of law school.

To top it all off… She's very attractive.

And Sajak's other child is equally impressive.  His son, Patrick, is a doctor, having earned his medical degree in 2021.

But back to the hot one… SO Maggie has studied hard her whole goddamned life.  She was probably at the top of her class coming out of high school and became an Ivy League graduate with a law degree.  And what is she doing with all of this knowledge?

She's gunning for Vanna White's job.

A couple of letters need to fall into place, but if everything goes right, instead of working in a courthouse defending Target employees who had the audacity to try and thwart shoplifters in the now-closed South side of Chicago location, Maggie is eventually going to make MILLIONS informing idiot contestants that you can't choose the letter "C" when you decide to buy a vowel.

You see, Maggie currently works as a "Social Correspondent" for her dad's show, but Pat made headlines recently by announcing that he was going to retire in 2024 from a program he has hosted for the past 40 fucking years.  Ryan Seacrest will be filling Pat's spot on the podium, but Vanna is staying on as the letter-turner because the shock of losing both Pat and Vanna in the same year would probably be too much for Wheel's octogenarian fan base.

But let's face it… Although Vanna White is a stunningly beautiful 66-year-old woman who is in much better shape than most of you reading this blog…

… she is still coming to the twilight of her storied career.  

And if you think I am using hyperbole with that "storied" adjective, keep in mind that Vanna has a pretty wonderful story… Here are the Cliff's Notes. 

Wheel of Fortune debuted in 1975… And you know who was the first to turn those letters?… Someone named Susan Stafford.

She was the original Vanna when Merv Griffin's brainchild, Wheel of Fortune, debuted, and Susan received $1,500 per episode. She was the first game show hostess to get her own wardrobe sponsor (Giorgio), and the first to have a microphone… Before her, gameshow girls were just voiceless pieces of meat.  

But Susan left the gig after 7 years because she felt there had to be something more to her life than simply turning letters. Sooooo… Fresh from the Miss Georgia USA pageant (where she didn't even win)… Vanna White stepped in on December 13, 1982, and over 7,000 episodes later, Vanna is still turning letters AND is signed on as hostess through mid-2025.

Vanna makes $10 million a year.  She has an estimated net worth of over $90 million.  In 2017, she listed her Beverly Hills home for $47.5 million.  And the show only shoots for 1 week every month.

So the runner-up in the Miss Georgia Pageant stepped into an inane occupation that now has her worth close to $100 million… That's a "storied" career, and Vanna White is a fucking legend who also dumped them out for the May 1987 issue of Playboy magazine. 

(obviously not Vanna, but I couldn't get a licensed photo of her Playboy spread)

Meanwhile, "Where is Susan Stafford?", you may ask.

And my answer is- "Who the fuck cares?"

I do know that in 2011, Stafford published her first book, Stop the Wheel, I Want to Get Off, where she outlines the fucking worst decision of her life.  But outside of that, she has wallowed in (comparative) mediocrity.

But the writing is on the wall for Miss White, and all good things must come to an end.  And I think that it is absolute GENIUS that Maggie Sajak is throwing everything she learned in college, grad school, and law school in the bin and setting herself up to slip into Vanna's very mindless but VERY profitable shoes once she steps away in a year and a half.

Fucking genius… Bravo, Maggie, and congrats to Pat and his wife for raising brilliant kids.

Take a report.

-Large

If this blog resembles an episode of Twisted History, that's because I am trying to get back in the groove before I take the show out of mothballs next week and record an extended-length episode.

Keep an eye out for it in the last week of October.

TAR

-L